Thursday, July 25, 2019

How i escaped beating this morning!

Ever had to check your bag,wallet or purse at the verge of making payment, only to find out you left your money right on your bed 2minutes before you stepped out of the house?

It happened to me !

I had ransacked my bag in search of the 1,000notes I recently withdrew from the ATM. Ladies and Gentlemen, I left the money on my bed.
My head was spinning
What would i do?
What Scene should I put up?

Should i just tell the conductor the truth?
...
Owo da?
Eeeerm, Please I forgot the money at home.
You say?
I am usually not like this. Am a law abiding citizen christian siste...
Ogbeni! Give me my money or else I go whoz you slap
....

I had rehearsed different scenarios in my head. I imagined him flinging me into the water when we got the third mainland bridge to dragging down my wig . Abi i should just beg one passenger to pay for me . Chai. I would now become like those fine bara people.☹️

My Village people had probably deliberated my matter overnight and the verdict was that 'One Lagos Conductor will deal with her'.

What do I do o? Let me search again. I mused.

I searched. I only fished out 2 10naira note.
By this time, i was starting to sweat and my tummy started rumbling.
I mean, even my tummy knew this was it!

Aunty
Aunty wa.

I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Who is this one bayi. I turned and saw him.

 A church member

Ha, Goodmorning o
Goodmorning. I saw you when you came in.
Eya, I did not see you o.
I know, Dont bother paying, I have paid for both of us.
Oh, you shouldnt have bothered o
chai, thank you Jesus. See early morning miracle
No o, I insist. Please let me pay for you
Ok then. If you insist then. Thank you

Am at work now thanking God for sending that Church member to me this morning. My colleagues don't know how I narrowly escaped been beating this early mo mo on the streets of Lagos.

Is our God not faithful?

P.S Nobody should ask me if that church member is a fine boy or not.Something just tells me he is stark single and have sent him a thank you note 4times already. He might end up paying more than transport fare eventually o. Did you say Bride Price? ๐Ÿ˜ƒ




Ever discovered you had forgotten your money at home at the verge of paying a conductor. Please share๐Ÿ˜ƒ


Sunday, June 23, 2019

How to Hustle for Bus in Lagos

You make up your mind to wake up 5am and get to work early so that your Boss will know that you can also be nominated for most punctual staff

5am - (Alarm rings)- You snooze to 5 mins later, ''let me sleep for extra 5 mins'' , You say
5:05am (Alarm rings) - You snooze to 10 min later, 'this 10mins more can't hurt' , You say
5.15am (Alarm rings) - You put off the Alarm. 'I don't need any alarm to wake me up, I am smart enough to wake up at exactly 5.35am', You say
6.39am : (Your Village people decide to tap you to consciousness)- 'Ha, I slept off sha', You exclaim!

You hurriedly get prepared for work.

7:04am You get to the bustop, only to meet the whole of Nigeria at your bustop
7:09am No Bus
7:11am A bus with only 1 seating space arrives!
The whole word fights for it..
You miss the bus
You get to work 11am as against 8am because you were confused on how to fight the bus hustle battle everytime a bus came!
You know you getting a query letter if you have a 'not so nice boss' or deduction in salary๐Ÿ˜ƒ
Fret not, am here to help you so you can apply these skills knowing fully well you will wake up late tomorrow again๐Ÿ˜†
1. Be strategic in positioning yourself - You can't stay at the back at expect to get a bus na. Be alert. Spot the aggressive ones and stand in front of them
2. If that bustop is jam packed with people, Walk back to the preceding bustop , you are likely to get lesser people there to contend with
3. Appear and Act Violent- Nobody would near you if you start saying words like 'I go shook anybody wey near me' . So when a bus comes, people wondering if you are normal or not won't hustle bus with you๐Ÿ˜ƒ( T&C Apply though )
4. Shout 'Excuse me pls,let me go back to my seat' - Act like you had a seat previously in the bus, so while people wonder if you are saying the truth or not. You are seated! (This might not work often)
5. Hold your bag tightly(for females) and fight like the other commuters are hindering your success or like its a spiritual battle
...and the violent taketh it by force
Meanwhile, if none of these work for you- Come back to reread and apply these tips again!


Please, any other Bus Hustling Skill?

Culled from www.facebook.com/Fiyinfoluwa.P

Lemonades and Lagos Traffic


Elders  say if life gives you a lemon, create a lemonade out of it
....

Now I(Preciousgift๐Ÿ˜‰)say when Lagos gives you Traffic, create a Treat!

We do not want you to miss out of this treat...

Give your self the best treat while in the popular Lagos Traffic

Visit  https://mylagostrafficdiary.blogspot.com today!



Do beyond just Gala and Conductor Wahala today๐Ÿ˜‚